“I’ll Never Drink Again” by Kent Mayhew (2004)

I hadn’t seen her in so long
and there she stood just lookin’ like a star
I felt that old familiar chill as I approached the bar
well I offered to buy the first round, think it turned out more like ten
I guess the booze had me believin’ that we were startin’ all over again

‘Cause I saw that sparkle in her eye
but hell she was lookin’ straight at him
and that night the devil looked just like Matthew McConahay
so I guess they went off to play bongos
and I finished shots eleven, nine and ten
and I woke up in the mornin’ with my new ugly friend

And I swear that I’ll never drink again
oh and I swear that I’ll never drink again

Until the next time you walk out on me like that
until the next time you say you’re comin’ back
until the next time I swear darlin’ I’ll never drink again
oh I swear this time baby
until the next time

Well I thought I was over her
then one night there she stood just like she had before
guess I’m a sucker for self abuse ‘cause I walked back up for more
when she said hello darlin’, ain’t it good that we’re still friends
maybe I could buy some drinks and you could drive me home
maybe we could start over again
well I fell for it
and as we were drivin’ she said, you’re gettin’ more distinguished
and I said yea, and you’re more like a good wine
that’s when it occurred to me that it was her that looked more like Sean Connery
I closed my eyes, prayed for a way out
I think that’s when I hit the speed limit sign
I heard the sirens, I saw the light
thank you Lord but that ain’t what I had in mind

And I swear that I’ll never drink again
oh and I swear that I’ll never drink again
Until the next time you walk out on me like that
until the next time you say you’re comin’ back
until the next time I swear darlin’ I’ll never drink again
oh I swear this time baby
until the next time

Copyright 20o4 Kent Mayhew Publishing